Monday, June 16, 2008

Life Is Not Fair Kinda Funny

I am participating in IMPROG MONDAY. Basically with improg, you blog about the word of the day. Please check out the improg site for more information. You will see there is also an improg Friday, but I have a problem with biweekly commitment at this juncture..... :)
Everyone is welcome to join the fun!

Improg word today is fair. Surprisingly, for a Monday morning, my somewhat youthfully old (see Your Brain on Menopause) and confused brain (why are we thinking so early???) spits out two meanings for fair. The first one is fair, as in county fair, which is quickly discarded. Why you may ask? Because I am a dentist and county fair=missing teeth= can't stop staring at missing teeth= why don't they get their teeth fixed?= they are on drugs= they are running the rides on drugs= why did we bring the kids here again= @&%$!#$^$@!!= alright, let's not think about this anymore. As in never!!

The second meaning is fair as in fairness. As in life is not fair. Well, I could go on and on about this. But if I really wanted to go down this depressing road- I would read one of my breast cancer books or think why they made the stranger safety video my kids are watching right now or look at the latest news. So I am going with Life Is Not Fair Kinda Funny.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR because......

* my husband has his own home office with official desk, nice desk chair, new desktop computer, ability to close door and lock it
* I have an old laptop, no printer, no privacy (in the middle of the living room which is open to the rest of the house), one of the dining room chairs, an old table
* I have a daughter that at age 5, without my knowledge or consent, wrote on my Summer Kid Project List (which was in my desk) "clay tawers" I am not really sure why Karen's Mom's Freezer Paper Project and the tie-dye t-shirts were not enough projects for her this summer. I am not even sure what clay towers are. But I am sure that when I see her after the video, she will let me know. It it is not really fair that my daughter is so funny, smart, loving, creative, cute and motivated- but the other mothers will just have to envy me ;)
* my kids caught a cold, from some kid at school, on the very last possible day they were in school and could possibly catch a cold from someone there
* now that the laptop, desktop, boat, pool cover and something else I can't remember are fixed.... the camera just broke
* it is so much easier to spend money than save it and so much easier to gain weight than lose it (see above camera just broke, and I still like cake)
* my brain has fallen and it can't get up
* my son was talking about how he knows "how to find portals" and my poor brain was trying to figure out how this relates to the field trip I had just asked him about (note: it doesn't, try to keep up mom)
* after returning home from the beach, I discover pockets FULL of decaying dead crab parts in dear son's jacket...............some big parts, hundreds of tiny parts, all stinky parts. I really hate dead, stinky crab parts and checking pockets at the beach would have been oh so convenient.......
* I need to find a Blogger Rehab Program or start my own. It's summer vacation time people! And I am officially on duty to preserve and protect and restore order as necessary!!

So there you have it folks! Happy improg!


Tina said...

Oh, my. Funny list. My kids are older, so it's been a long time since I heard "that's not fair" and I don't miss it at all. I HAVE recently heard "I didn't ask to be born" but as I've told my kids over and over, "I didn't ask to be born either and I need to take it out on someone, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

Improgging Fool! said...

NICE IMPROG, my improgging friend!!!!!

Hayley Townley, Breast Cancer Survivor Extraordinaire said...

Does that mean that you don't want to go ride the rides at the fair with me??? Darnit. I mean, after all, you beat cancer - what's a spin on the tilt-o-wheel put together by drug addicts with no teeth, or very little teeth going to do?

I guess I'll go by myself. But it's not fair.

Susan said...

It's not fair that you had time to improg today and I didn't (so far, anyway).

And it's not fair how many germs go around during the last week of school.

MamaGeek said...

*raises hand*

Can I join your blogger rehab program? I'm currently in a blogger intervention stint and it's NOT working. :)