Monday, July 28, 2008

Close Encounters of the Feline Kind

As some of you know, and as some of you may care, I have been having some interesting cat encounters as of late. And now that I think about it, it was really unreasonable to expect those days to be over......

So the story goes that we had family and friends on our boat on the lake. It was time to find a place to anchor and have lunch. Dear husband was under the impression that he could decide where to hitch up for lunch. Seeing that we had a boat full of people, I let this slide even though he was going very much away from my usual coveted lunch spot. So here we are zipping along in the middle of the lake, when I see.....

Of course this is not the real picture of the real cat we saw in the middle of the lake. I am still cameraless. And picture dear kitty from behind- one little wet black head and two little wet black ears. Farther away. My sister (we are both stricken with cat-love but are both on spouse imposed cat-max) spots him too. Dear husband had a stroke of sanity and pulled up next to him and I grabbed a beach towel and scooped him up. Kitty was big. I would say part Siamese and definitely not feral. Thank god for big favors. Now we had to deal with the age old question: What to do with a scared, wet cat on a boat with 8 people in the 100 degree heat?

Dear kitty was amazingly calm. Dear husband and dear BIL were silently panicked. Who was going to end up breaking the cat laws of domestic bliss? We decide to head for the marina to find the Lost Kitty Stand. Actually we find two park rangers and tell them about dear kitty. They tell us they find all kinds of critters in the lake, mostly snakes that crawl on boats which then are trailered to the lake. The critters jump off in the water, unbeknownst to the boat owners. The park service does have a wayward animal station and they would take care of dear kitty and see if anyone comes looking for him. Dear husband and dear brother-in-law heave a sigh of relief. One dear ranger said his kids had just convinced him to get them a cat. So if no one claimed him, he would take him home himself.

So we took stock-

cat inflicted scratches- 0

wet beach towel with cat hair- 1

lost cat found and safe- 1

our own desperate housecats who do not appreciate how good they have it- 3

So now I will be forever searching the lake water for wayward cat ears......................... we should rename the boat Destiny Cat.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Awwwww.........hear that?

I didn't either. The only sound I can hear right now is the hum of my laptop. I forgot it even hummed. The three monsters are in day camp this week. I love 'em, but it is hard not being able to complete one thought for a month straight. They are having the time of their lives. I pick them up each day wet, muddy, full of stickers and burs, exhausted, grumpy, stinky and happy. It is well worth the price of admission.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.......

OK, my procrastinating got me out of improging plethora. Which is good, because Hayley and Susan did it much better than I ever could. The new improg word of the week is PONYTAIL.

I must admit I envy the adult woman in ponytail. Mostly because I used to look good in them and now my hair is short. Because it got all funked up when I had chemo, imagine that. But for now, this new hairstyle is better for me than growing it out because it would look like a cross between Kramer and a malnourished poodle*. Really. My hair does seem to be returning to it's old texture,

* this, of course, is way better than being bald and on chemo

For now I will just have to fantasize pulling my hair back and putting it in a pony tail holder.

It will be thick and luxurious. It will jostle as I walk. And have pretty, natural highlights. Awww...but to dream......

My daughter has entered the ponytail age. No one warned me this area is fraught with danger. If I am unable to execute the ponytail exactly as she had hoped (all laws of physics not expected...) then the frump face comes out. Believe me, this does not ever go well. So here I would love any ponytail....and she isn't happy with they say.... life's a ponytailed bitch.

I once read an article that some guy wrote that discussed what kind of grease to use on a man's ponytail. I think this is a crime against humanity. What exactly goes through a white middle-aged man's mind when he decides this is the look for him? I find it amusing that "macho" men are embracing such an effeminate hairstyle. It didn't even look good on David Beckham.

I am waiting for the men to break out the pig tails. That would at least be amusing.

Maybe I should become a vigilante girl with scissors, saving the world one horrible man-tail at a time. I could probably take care of a few rat-boy tails too.

Watch out boys, snip, snip!! Ponytail Bitch is coming for ya!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sad but true....

I am completely lost, dysfunctional, sorta depressed...all because my digital camera has gone to digital camera heaven- again. I can't blog, I can't wordless wednesday, I can't take a ridiculous number of pictures of the kids or the cats.

I was a first time camera widow about 6 months ago and now my latest one died. As in DEAD. Cost more to fix it than get a new one. Arghhhhhhhhh. Going to get a better/more sturdy/ more like my old Minolta 35mm but digital. Because of the dreaded BUDGET, have to wait a few more weeks. Anyway, if anyone has any recommendations for a new one, I am all ears. Camera must be able to withstand sand and roller coasters. I can tell new camera can't wait to meet me and it's new destiny......................

Another sad but true fact is our dog Nikki is at her End of Days. Lately she has been having a lot of trouble getting up off her dog bed. She is almost 14 and really has not been herself since we had to put her 14 year old "sister" dog down a year ago.
Major, our major goofus young dog, gave her a gift today. He found a dead baby bird (tiny, fell out of it's nest I assume) and he brought it over to her and put it on her dog bed. The baby bird looked like it was sleeping (i.e. not chewed up) and Nikki wagged her tail as she smelled it. Of course I am inferring here. But there is no other way this little bird made it onto her bed by itself. Major is so sweet, in a disgusting dog sort of way. It is weird how they must know some things..... he has never passed up the opportunity to chew up some dead animal before.....

I am listening to the kids blasting "Under My Rock" by Spongebob and Patrick.

The housing crisis has hit home. My 5 year old dear daughter has a homemade sign on her door that says "Sorry, HOUS UNAVILIBL" Of course, I would post a cute photo of this sign, but *sigh*

The last sad but true fact for the day is I don't wanna make dinner, but I have to- waaah!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Things I Have Learned Recently- Part 3

You can make a capri-sun purse. How is that for being green?

You can have two fashion seasons: UGG boots and flip flops. Oh so comfy, and you can be the envy of fashionistas everywhere!

If you eat 6 cups of watermelon including the rind, it is comparable to taking a Viagra. (Information compliments of my hubbie)

According to male, teenage , foreign-exchange students from Sweden, my dear hubbie looks like John Travolta. I am checking into a look-alike career for him as we speak. I wonder how cold Sweden is in the winter.....

My cat Melissa thinks dry Grape Nuts are just as good as dry cat food. Crunch, crunch.

It is possible to take one 6 year old boy to a BBQ party and come home 3 hours later with same six year old boy who has accomplished: playing numerous football, soccer, dodge ball and basketball games with 5 teenage foreign exchange students (half of whom do not speak any English), a new knee scrape, a new arm scrape, a new ankle scrape (all separate occurrences), dog wrestling (2 different dogs), block building, bike riding, scooter riding, muddy feet, muddy shirt, wet shirt, wet shoes, missing socks, muddy and wet shorts, silly string hair, silly string ball wadded up in muddy shorts pocket, lemonade and brownie stained face, pinata booty and wagon ride down a steep hill initiation. This kid does more in three hours than I do in a year (or two!)

My other son wants to open up a "baby food only" restaurant and call it Gums-R-Us

According to dear daughter, your day can be defined as "the greatest day ever" if you wake up and your toe nail polish is still on. I just love her philosophy......

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


My improg word of the week is smitten. smitten list....

Going for the rhyme first.....

I am smitten with my new kitten. His name is Patrick and he is a terror. In a cute way of course. Much like my next smittens.....

I am smitten with my three kids. No explanation needed here. Oh, you know I can't resist....
They are occasionally terrors, terrifying or terrified. And so am I.

I am mostly smitten with dear husband, but he is on another list today......

Why do men have no clue sometimes? I wish he would just read my mind already, LOL.

OK, he just called. He is reading my mind. Speaking of terrible, dear s-list husband just called to tell me that a couple we know were both severely injured in a bicycle accident. I think I will go straight to get over it mode.

I am smitten with my new cell phone. I had been carrying around an old phone (a whole four years old- a real dinosaur). Now mine is almost as good as our 17 year -old baby sitter's phone.

Isn't it lovely? Did I mention that my old phone met it's demise by the hands of dear daughter and an adventure over a balcony?? I still have the same # people, so call me already!