The Marge News Report

In recent developments....

1) My "m" key is on this fritz. So annoying!

2) I a going to the dup on Tuesday.

OK, put in a couple of m's for AM and DUMP. (See #1)
My son's third grade field trip is in need of adults. I am looking for my rubber boots today.

3) Kittens fart.

4) I do not know how to take a photo with my cellphone. I do not know how to send any phone photo to anyone else either. Apparently, my four year old daughter can do both.

I was sitting at my desk when my cellphone beeped. Text message. I don't know how to text anyone either. Message from my sis "Cute." How did she know I was? LOL, I call her to tell her she is losing her mind and she tells me I just sent her a picture of our new kitten. Oh, dear daughter.............

I think I can write a Dr. Seuss-like story:
I do not know how ......I do not know how .......daughter says "WOW, how can you not know how?"

5) The entire state of California can be rainy and stormy for Memorial Day Weekend. Oh ya, we can have tornadoes and hail storms too.

6) There is a need for all the broken jewelry and little beads and what not that I have accumulated. Please consider donating yours to Buttons and Dollars. My friend Hayley has a great post with contact information on her blog.

7) We have four bluebird nests in our menagerie of bird houses this spring. We also have at least two king snakes hanging out near the play structure. We hope they all play nice.

8) FOUND (when I cleaned out all the cabinets): pickles that were best by April 2004, twenty tubes of dried up frosting, thong underwear (worn for exactly 10 seconds) and a note from my then 6 year old son that said Mom, I need to speak to you up to my room right now. From your son. I found tons of other junk too. Want. To. Stop. Buying. Crap. Now.

9) If, by chance, a jelly bean rolls unnoticed under the griddle on your cook top, and you cook on the griddle for a week before you notice.....................well you are screwed.
Burnt, melted, stuck-on-there-forever screwed.

10) There is such thing as a drive by hissing. Just ask Melissa. I decided this is much better than a drive by farting. See #3.

11) My husband can do a dead-on Homer Simpson voice "I've got three words for ya Marge.................go... to........ the...... store! " (insert Homer laugh here)

And yes, I need to go to the store- see excuse #5, and reason why I don't wanna #8.

I guess I still need food around these parts....
But I have lost my appetite, reality #3.